Oh, You Know…Lots of Tests, Lots of Papers

Hi everyone! (wait, way too enthusiastic)–

 

I hate you all. (too morose)–

 

Good afternoon (too formal, dammit)–

 

Hello, My Name is Elder Price (too Broadway referencey)–

 

Hi guys (casual yet asserting I’m speaking. Perfect.),

 

I’ve just finished packing for the trip to Long Island this weekend. I’m excited and nervous and anxious and happy to be spending Thanksgiving with my actual family and sad I won’t be spending the holiday with my Skidmore family.

 

Reasons I’m Nervous About Going Home

1. The Questions

How’s school? Where are you again? How are your classes? What are you taking? You dropped chemistry? How are the people? Do you have any friends? How’s the love life? Parties? How did you get involved with directing a play?–Stop. STOP. I’m going to be asked these questions over and over and I am going to hate it. I don’t want to be bombarded with questions like my answers depend on the safety of the human race, like my answers will save the world. I just want to go home, and sleep in my nice comfortable bed, and watch the Thanksgiving parade on Thursday morning, see Godspell on Friday, eat some birthday cake on Saturday (19 years old already) and come back here on Sunday.

 

2. Seeing the Friends

What if they’ve changed? What if I’ve changed? All the what ifs…

 

3. I’m Turning 19, and None of my Friends Will Be There to Help Me Celebrate

I mean, my sister and my parents and my grandma, but they’re not the ones who’ll make me do 19 shots to celebrate my 19th birthday. Those are the real friends. Although Grandma does like her alcohol a lot.

 

4. I Have to Do a 5 Page Paper While Home

Okay…That’s enough for me. I’m afeard Dad will judge my work habits of plugging music in while I work and still not getting work done. #9gag

 

5. Sourceless Anxiety

I get sourceless anxiety sometimes, and ask myself, like, the stupidest questions: What if my dog hates me now? What if we don’t have any Oreos at home? What if we don’t have the mac and cheese I love on Thanksgiving? Of course, none of these things will happen–dog loves me, we will, and mmm m&c–but that’s why it’s sourceless. I’m afraid things will have changed and i won’t be able to handle it.

 

6. Change

What if we got new dining room chairs? What if we got a new car I wasn’t told about? What if they rearranged the furniture in my room? What if…What if…What if…

 

This was a rather dramatic post and I promise I’ll be jollier. It’s the holiday season, for Gaga’s sake. Legit all I’m doing is smiling and laughing with friends, but I’m still nervous.

 

Measure in Love,

 

Kevin

 

 

About Kevin Berry

jamba juice. mennonite. enneagram.
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