IT’S FINALLY HERE. CHRISTMAS IS HERE. OH MY GAGA.

Deck the halls everyone!

 

It’s Christmas Eve (and already Christmas in Australia someone take me to Australia now)!

 

Around this time of year, many families have traditions that occur every year! So for this blog post, I thought I’d share with you my family’s Christmas traditions! I’m going to end every sentence with an exclamation point because I’m so excited for Christmas! YAY!

 

So. Christmas Eve. Every Christmas Eve, we go to my aunt’s house, a few towns over, in Bellmore. There, we engage in many Christmas related activities including eating and opening presents. It’s a nice night LOL. Then, I get in my car (aptly named Peggy, after Peggy Noonan, my favorite Wall Street Journal journalist) and drive to my high school, Chaminade (Go Flyers! Wahoo!), for midnight mass. Midnight Mass is a really nice service involving Christmas carols before mass, a crazy Ukrainian glee club conductor, lots of smiling and laughter and a re-enactment of the birth of Jesus through interpretive dance performance by several of the students at the school. (This is an all boys’ Catholic school, mind you.) Just kidding, there’s no dance.  But there is the rest. Then, after mass, I stumble tiredly to my car, and just miss being in several car accidents on the way home. Then I get into bed and try to fall asleep, but can’t because I’m waiting for the reindeer-sleigh combo to land on my roof and for the fat man to drop the gifts under the tree. Just kidding. I fall asleep, because Santa doesn’t come to houses where people are still awake.

 

Then, Christmas morning comes and everything goes cray-cray. I wake up last because midnight mass ends at sunrise basically.  We wait at the top of the stairs because Dad needs to go down to turn on the fire (#electricfireplace) and to check if Santa Clause. He always does because I’m on the nice list. My dog always deserves coal but never gets it. Which shows that even Santa is in the Christmas spirit. After opening gifts, my grandparents show up to see what Santa brought. Then we have my dad’s “famous” cinnamon buns. I say they’re famous because when they’re being baked, paparazzi show up at my house asking for interviews. Just kidding but seriously. Then after the buns are eaten and the coffee sipped, we clean up the living room under the tree and begin to get ready for the day’s activities. The day’s activities include getting ready (with the standard who gets to shower first argument), putting things in the car, leaving late because someone forgot a bottle of wine or someone’s gift, et cetera. This year, we’re hosting the family for Christmas dinner, so to make up for the lack of putting things in the car and leaving late, the shower argument will be a cage fight, or something out of the Hunger Games. #youngadultliteraturereference! Then, around 3 or 4pm (but really 5pm because my family is always late to literally everything (as opposed to figuratively everything) the familiglia arrives. I don’t know wjhy I just included the Italian spelling of family, since we’re the most Irish, but whatever. So the famiglia arrives and the fun begins. Laughter, tears, arguments. All the ingredients for a Pulitzer Prize for Drama winning domestic drama. Just kidding, no arguments. It’s Christmas, the happiest day of the year! WHOA! There’s a ton of food, and you’ve seen our house at Christmas, so you know how perfect everything is. My stepmom is the Martha Stewart of our house, our neighborhood, and even the Martha Stewart of Martha Stewart.  It’s a great day.

 

I was dreaming of a white Christmas this year, but it seems like it’s going to be one in which flowers are bloom and in which baby animals are being born. It’s so springlike outside it’s not even funny. I mean it shouldn’t be. Global warming is not something to be taken lightly. I don’t know anything about it, but I know it’s a thing or something.

 

Okay, it’s time to start getting into my knickers and three-cornered hat! Oh, that’s another thing! We all dress like colonial Americans on Christmas Eve in my house. So I look like a Son of Liberty when I show up to midnight mass.

Oh my God, look at all the snow on the ground! Wait, what's that? Never mind, it's just the hole in the ozone layer growing wider and wider.

Measure in Love, Reindeer, Elves, Sleigh Bells, Holiday Drinks from Starbucks, Candy, Candy Canes, Candy Corns, Syrup, and in Salvation Army Santa Clauses on Every Corner!

 

Merry Christmas!

 

Kevin

 

About Kevin Berry

jamba juice. mennonite. enneagram.
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