Good evening America and international nations.
This is my last post of 2011. That being said, this is also my last post that will ever be posted on December 31st. Because by this time next year, according to the Mayan Divas, we will all be dead.
I, for one, am terrified for that day. December 12. Start counting down the days, betties. I hate auto-correct.
The plan for this post is to be all over the place. A little bit of reflection, a little bit of my life in the past few days, and a little bit of looking forward. But mostly it will be my absurd ranting and raving about all sorts of topics related to the big ole twenty-eleven and the big old twenty-twelve. Also, those past two numbers are my pant sizes. #anorexic. Just kidding. #anorexicmidget. #thatsoffensive. Sorry.
Anyway. In 2011, I’ve grown a lot. I’ve made a scheisse ton of new friends, a few new best friends to add to my exclusive Best Friends Club. (If any of the separate best friends in the best friend group ever met, the world would explode, so it’s good that some friends are on Long Island and some are from school.) I never thought I would have directed a play by now or be in a fantastic a cappella group. Life is not what I thought it would be and I love it.
Tonight, my night has been dominated by horror. Two different kinds of horror. The first is the kind that can only be indeed when seeing a movie so poorly made that you storm out in outrage at having spent 11 dollars on the film at the end. Tonight I saw New Year’s Eve, by the people who made the Golden Razzie worst picture of 2010 winning film Valentine’s Day. It was a quagmire of stories and celebrities. It was a hot mess. The thing is, it took itself so seriously. At least Rocky Horror and The Room know they’re bad movies. They treated this one like it was meant to have some profound message. Spoiler alert, there was none. Happy New Year, Hilary Swank. The other kind of horror was the one generated by watching the new FX series American Horror Story for three hours after the movie. I just started watching the series and I have never been so satisfied and terrified all at once by a TV series. It’s brilliant.
In the past two days, I have seen three Broadway shows. Two very long days. I saw The Book of Mormon, which was a brilliantly funny and inappropriate comedy that may have also been the most offensive thing I’ve ever seen. It was the most offensive thing I’ve ever seen. There’s no doubt. But I loved every minute of it because the acting was brilliant and the music is GORGEOUS. Also, Nikki M James who plays Nabalungi and won a Tony for the role, is my buddy on Twitter. We’re basically at the point in our relationship where we can get married or I can adopt her. I waited from 6am until 1pm on line outside the theatre to get 27 dollar standing room tickets with my friend Alison. (@AlisonChilling on Twitter, follow her, she’s the bomb.) The next show, I saw that night. The revival of Follies was absolutely depressing and moving. It was probably the most beautifully staged show I’ve ever seen. The costumes were incredible, the music ovation-worthy, and the second act included a set change that took my breath away. Then, last night, I saw the show I liked most of the three: Lysistrata Jones. It’s a modern day retelling of the Aristophanes play Lysistrata. I have never had so much fun at a show. The cast is great, the storyline intriguing, and the humor was so smart. It didn’t rely on poop and fart humor like The Book of Mormon did, but rather relied on the audiences’ intelligence to understand the subtle humor. Which was hilarious. The lead actress, Patti Murin is a star headed to even brighter places, as are a few other members of the cast. The music was so much fun too. I went into the show having heard mostly negative reviews but having read NYTimes’ rave review of the show. I agree wholeheartedly withthe reviewers and hope this little tiny baby of a show goes on to be something great.
Looking forward, I don’t know what to expect, besides the end of the world. That’s why I changed my original New Year’s resolution of losing 1000 pounds down to losing 500 pounds. The world is ending, so our goals and dreams can just be half-assed.
Happy New Year!
How do you measure, measure a year?
Measure in Love,