And I Will Always Love You: A Valentine’s Day Rant

Hi Cupids,


It’s Valentines Day. The worst thing.Makes me re-evaluate my non-existent love life. Whompish. LOL.


My main question of the day is to D-Hall. I don’t know how successful an event this was, but D-Hall offered a “Valentine’s Sweetheart Dinner” or something, for lovely romantic couples around campus. It cost 40 dollars per couple. Which no student has to spare. I mean some do. But still. It’s essentially glorified d-hall food. “Hey, baby, where are we going to dinner on Valentine’s Day?” “I was thinking we’d go to…” “Yeah?” “The second floor of the dining hall.” “What the eff?” But seriously, what the eff. There are plenty of affordable restaurants in town. Like they all have some very excellent food for very excellent prices. I’d rather have the orzo with chicken and tomato at Chianti rather than upstairs at d-hall. I’d have food from town any day over food here. The food here is delicious, but it’s made in mass qualities, and not to order like at restaurants. Which is why it’s important to break the bubble and eat nice food sometimes in town. Also, I would take my beloved to a nice restaurant where they sprinkled us with rose petals, holy water, and maybe a baby so we carefully consider our future over a shared appetizer. Not d-hall, where EVERYTHING has spinach. That’s my only gripe with d-hall. Too much spinach. I do not need spinach in my black bean flat wrap, which has distinctly Hispanic flavorings! Spinach is not Hispanic! Gosh! I do not need spinach as a part of my daily diet. I eat so many green peppers it’s not even funny. I like a good sandwich every now and then.


Speaking of town, I haven’t hung out there too much this semester, which makes me the saddest sack this side of the Kosciusko Bridge. Whatever, I’m busy yo.


I got a Valentine today. One Valentine. I wish I had gotten more, sucks I didn’t. Whatever. #foreveralone. My Valentine had Princess Tiana on it. She’s my favorite Disney princess.


Another thing that bothers me: My suite mate is not loud, but his friends, who use his room as a video game playing spot are very very very very very very very very very very very very loud. Like to the point where I can openly converse with them through the walls if I want. They play video games all day, err day. Ugh. I ask them to be quiet, they get louder. I ask them again, they started burning incense in his room. RA called campus safety like it ain’t no thang.


Another thing to not bring to college: anything illegal. Or anything that smells when burned. Or smelly snack food. No one wants a roommate with smelly snack food. Like one who eats Cheez-Its with spicy Prego marinara. It happens. And it’s seriously gross smelling. Leave the windows open if you want to eat kipper in the middle of the night.


Alright, enough ranting, please. I miss Whitney Houston.

Princess Tiana comforts me through my V-Day crying session. #lonely

Measure in Love (literally, today of all days),


Kevin, AKA Love Shack

About Kevin Berry

jamba juice. mennonite. enneagram.
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