ONE MAN, ONE TUBE, ONE RIVER, ONE BRUISE

Hi friends,

 

Happy September, ugh wake me up when September ends, am I right, ladies?

 

Anyways, today was the best because I got to wake up really early and get on a school bus with a driver named Thor (but when he pronounced it, it sounded like he said Store so my friends and I referred him Store all day) and drive for a half hour to the Sacandaga River, which is pronounced Sacandaga but I thought we were going to the Chattahoochee River the entire bus ride, so I referred to the river as the Chattahoochee but it turns out that the Chattahoochee is in Georgia and this is all beginning to sound like a Shakespearean comedy of errors, mixed-up identities, and antics! And snafus! Ahardyharhar!

 

So. I was supposed to be going whitewater rafting. But none of my friends on the trip, which was being run through SGA and Leadership Training, were doing rafting. They were partaking in the other opportunity, whitewater tubing. When we got to the place, they asked if anyone wanted to go tubing rather than rafting, and I raised my hand on a whim, which ended up being an amazing choice.

 

On the shuttle from the shack where they ran the rafting business, the guide gave us a speech that made it seem like we were going to DIE on the ChittyChittyBangBang river. I WAS SO SCARED. Because when we drove over the river, it was dry as a pinecone on a hot and humidity-less summer night. The guide said, There she is, the Cheddarcheese River, and I was like, this is not real life. There is currently a bee in my window seat as I’m sitting here typing this and I’m scared again.The guide said, the river will be going by the time we get up there. Turns out he was right, because it’s a dammed river – not a cuss word, dammed as in dam as in beavers.

 

We get off the shuttle bus, and pick our tubes and the rafters pick up their rafts and my body is shaking and we get into the river and David, who seemed like he was Australian but had no accent – He just had that Australian personality and he looked like he was seem down under – gave us instructions on how to paddle in our tubes and told us to avoid the giant pillar in the middle of the river half a mile downstream. You’d be surprised how many of us would ┬áhave hit the pillar had he not said that.

 

And we’re off. Immediately, we’re in the rapids, and paddling and getting wet. For about 5 minutes, maybe, there are fun rapids and we’re all screaming like babies and when I say We, I mean me. Then there’s a flat water section and we’re sort of lazy rivering it down the Chattykathy and then the not Aussie David tells us to link up our tubes for a section and hold on until he tells us to let go so we did and it was craycray and then he tells us to let go and as soon as we let go, my bum/butt/rear end hits a giant rock in the river an it still hurts to sit on it. Gosh, it smarts.

 

THEN COMES THE EXCITING PART SO I WILL TELL YOU IN CAPS BUT I’M NOT SCREAMING I’M JUST PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS PART OF THE STORY IN PARTICULAR AND THERE ARE FOUR OR FIVE FOOT RAPIDS AND WE’RE GOING UP AND DOWN AND UP AND DOWN AND WE HAVE TO PADLE FOR OUR LIVES TO GET TO SHORE LIKE IN THAT EPISODE OF THE WILD THORNBERRYS WHERE THEY’RE ON AN ADVENTURE IN THE JUNGLE, NOT THAT THAT’S VAGUE OR ANYTHING BUT SERIOUSLY THE LAST 3 MINUTES OF THE TUBEATHON WERE MAJOR EXCITEZ.

 

Now I’m back in my room and I’m doing my laundry and then I’ll shower and prep for a rehearsal for student showcase on Monday and then tonight is, in addition to being my one year anniversary at this school (I moved in a year ago today), it’s also Final Stretch Saratoga, which is a street party to celebrate the ending of the racetrack season (probs because the Saratoga townspeople get tired of all of the tourists and now that they’re gone they can celebrate or something, IDK) and there’s music and I remember last year I danced up a storm.

 

Speaking of dance storms, last night I was at a theater pre-or gathering at a friends’ house and I danced a lot. I also screamed, “I’M NOT FAT ANYMORE, LOOK AT MY NEW JEANS” several times.

 

Also, here’s a picture from this morning.

AREN’T WE CUTE LOOK AT HOW SVELTE I LOOK IN MY #CTM TSHIRT THAT I GOT AT ACCEPTED STUDENTS DAY WHEN I WAS A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL

 

Measure in Love,

 

Kev

About Kevin Berry

jamba juice. mennonite. enneagram.
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